In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then - if we're doing our job - we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least gives you something better to do than kiss your biceps and ask people if they're going to the "gun show."

This week's Ragnet takes us to Puyallup, where sometimes things get out of hand in grandma's garage.

Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll

Puyallup is an interesting place. I heard a guy on the radio recently hypothesize that over 60 percent of the male population in Puyallup, on any given day, is wearing a sports jersey of some sort. He's probably not far off.

Despite its few drawbacks, Puyallup is also the type of place where real family love can blossom - the kind of relationships worthy of Hallmark cards, crocheted tapestry messages and Walton-style warm feelings in your heart.

Or something like that.

According to published reports on the News Tribune's Lights & Sirens blog, a man described as in his early 20s was arrested recently after things went terribly wrong for him and the detached garage he lives in.

According to said reports, the man arrested lives (lived) in the detached garage of his grandmother's home in the 200 block of 19th Street Northwest in Puyallup. Surely, it takes a special kind of man, and a special kind of lasting relationship, for a grandson and grandma to cohabitate so lovingly.

The only trouble is, last Friday, May 20, Central Pierce Fire & Rescue crews were dispatched to the home a little before 11:15 a.m. after flames were seen coming from the detached garage in question.

What happened?

Well, we don't have ALL the facts yet, but we do know what police suspect happened. According to reports, investigators believe the young man was burning "something" in his home (detached garage) when things got out of hand. (Taking bets now on what that "something" could be.)

Authorities say the fire spread quickly once it became out of control, and before long it was setting off stockpiles of ammunition. (Who doesn't keep ammunition in their detached garage home?)

Not only did the man's residence (detached garage) get caught up in the mess, and his stockpile of ammunition set off, but the flames quickly spread to the property's main house - owned and inhabited by the suspect's grandma.

Oops. Setting your grandma's house on fire is never a recipe for success.

Luckily, the man in question is just a suspected moron, not a suspected complete and total moron/waste of human seed. Once the man had made the (admittedly horrible) mistake of accidentally catching his grandmother's home on fire, he did the admirable thing and rescued her from the flames. According to accounts in the Trib, she was taken to a local hospital for a routine check up after the scare.

Her tenant, and loving grandson, was arrested at the scene on suspicion of arson.

Birthday card's going to be a little lighter next year, wouldn't you assume? - Pyro Pete, Grandma and Arson Related Crime Correspondent