In every issue of this fine rag my hack team of wannabe journalists and I tackle some of the most laughable criminal acts that have recently happened in our area. Then-if we're doing our job-we write about those crimes in a way that makes you chuckle, or at the very least helps you find something to do other than smear Lays potato chip grease all over your khakis.

This week's column takes us to Fife, where the parenting is just as bad as it was last week.

Enjoy. - Matt Driscoll

Father's Day has come and gone. Those "Best Dad Ever" coffee mugs we were all about last week? They've all been distributed. The honoring of the male half of the parenting unit has seen its day this year - let us turn our attention to the mothers.

Last week, in honor of Father's Day, we brought you the (allegedly) sad and pathetic story of a dad so self-consumed he risked the safety of his 3-year-old son just to further a high speed chase with police - by pushing the 3-year-old out of his moving vehicle before speeding away and nearly clipping the boy! Bail has since been set at $400,000 for that (alleged) douchebag.

Now it's a mom's turn in the spotlight.

At Ragnet, sadly, our attention is rarely a good thing. Sometimes, hopefully, there's at least a little humor, but at the end of the day we're always talking about allegedly moronic criminals doing allegedly moronic things. It can get depressing. Really depressing. Slit-your-wrist-you've-lost-all-faith-in-humanity depressing. Like the following ...

According to the crime-reporting pen of Stacia Glenn at the News Tribune, police in Fife say a 3-year-old girl was recently left alone while her mother gambled at a nearby casino. The details of what allegedly transpired, while limited, are enough to make any decent human cringe.

According to police, the manager at a motel in the 3800 block of Pacific Highway East in Fife called 911 at about 2 a.m.to report a child who appeared to have been abandoned, found wandering the parking lot and crying for her mother. According to Glenn's report, a clerk at the motel recognized the child and knocked on the door to the room she knew her parents to be occupying - only to find the door open and the room empty.

According to reports, the mother and her boyfriend returned to the motel at roughly 5:30 a.m. When questioned, the dynamic couple said they'd lost track of time because the boyfriend had won a jackpot at a nearby casino. They told police they figured it was safe to head to the casino because the 3-year-old was sleeping when they arrived at the hotel.

Thing about 3-year-olds is, though, sometimes they wake.

Then again, jackpot celebrations wait for no one.

The child was placed in state care; she obviously deserves better. The mother was arrested on suspicion of child abandonment.

And - an unexpected yet totally expected kicker - the boyfriend was arrested for investigation of various drug charges. Didn't see that one coming, did you? - Jorge Devol, Gambling Related Crime Correspondent